27/07/2007
The complaints guy from the JPH emailed to suggest I call him. We talked for about half an hour, the received shaking against my ear, my face flush with emotion and my voice cracking. My mouth was dry and I couldn't articulate much of anything. He told me to send him the chronology and a list of questions I wanted answers to and that he would speak to Dr Preston then arrange a face to face meeting.
I sat there editing the chronology but the screen was a blur, i dread to think of the number of typo's. In the end I emailed it across stating that I wouldn't be willing to do a face to face meeting with Dr Preston because it would only upset me and make me angry which always leaves me speechless. For some reason I just curl up and hide myself away inside when I get emotional, I guess it's safer than letting people see you for you are. The idea of seeing her face to face made my stomach turn, I can't risk going back on all the progress I have been making. I will not fall apart and let them win.
3:00pm came by pretty quick and then it was time to give a statement with my solicitor. again I was griping the phone so tight that my knuckles were white but my hand was shaking so much i thought i still might drop it. The statement took nearly an hour and I restrained myself from getting too emotional. The sad thing is that she understood that JPH were in the wrong and even agreed that they needed to be investigated but that because it isn't a quick win she wont do anything. Blind justice.
Sometimes it feels as though I am always alone. I hate being here by myself yet as a total misnoma when Tom is home I get frustrated. I must be very difficult to live with these days and I can only thank him silently as he sleeps for standing by me through this.
We agreed that we can afford the new car out of my salary this month, so the settlement cheque should pay off most of the remainder of the wedding. It still amazes and terrifies me that we will be married soon. It's a bit to late to say I'm scared of passing the point of no return as we went past that when we got a mortgage together but I guess this is very final. It's like a cremation or burial in a kind of peverse way. Ok so that probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me but these days the things I think and feel rarely do.
Minds work in mysterious ways and lateral thinking is just a phrase for the like minded to feel less alone. You are a beautiful unique snowflake....
I sat there editing the chronology but the screen was a blur, i dread to think of the number of typo's. In the end I emailed it across stating that I wouldn't be willing to do a face to face meeting with Dr Preston because it would only upset me and make me angry which always leaves me speechless. For some reason I just curl up and hide myself away inside when I get emotional, I guess it's safer than letting people see you for you are. The idea of seeing her face to face made my stomach turn, I can't risk going back on all the progress I have been making. I will not fall apart and let them win.
3:00pm came by pretty quick and then it was time to give a statement with my solicitor. again I was griping the phone so tight that my knuckles were white but my hand was shaking so much i thought i still might drop it. The statement took nearly an hour and I restrained myself from getting too emotional. The sad thing is that she understood that JPH were in the wrong and even agreed that they needed to be investigated but that because it isn't a quick win she wont do anything. Blind justice.
Sometimes it feels as though I am always alone. I hate being here by myself yet as a total misnoma when Tom is home I get frustrated. I must be very difficult to live with these days and I can only thank him silently as he sleeps for standing by me through this.
We agreed that we can afford the new car out of my salary this month, so the settlement cheque should pay off most of the remainder of the wedding. It still amazes and terrifies me that we will be married soon. It's a bit to late to say I'm scared of passing the point of no return as we went past that when we got a mortgage together but I guess this is very final. It's like a cremation or burial in a kind of peverse way. Ok so that probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me but these days the things I think and feel rarely do.
Minds work in mysterious ways and lateral thinking is just a phrase for the like minded to feel less alone. You are a beautiful unique snowflake....
posted by stunted at 10:07 AM
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