This Could Be The Last Time
It's silly really but since Xmas that has been a phrase on repeat in my mind. You never really expect the last time you do something unless you are planning it but we don't generally plan on dying or never speaking to someone you care about again. Things just snowball or mushroom out of control and there you are looking back realising that something you thought nothing of doing was the last time you were ever going to be in that place or moment.
That makes no sense so I am sorry. Having truly realised just how fragile life is I have started trying to make the most of it. Little things really but now I can honestly say that I tell people what I want or am thinking. There isn't enough time in life to just hope people will guess how you feel about them or anything else. The only thing is that I can't seem to overcome my stubbornness. Anyone that has known me for some time will know that I am from the typical dysfunctional family. That, sadly seems the norm in today's society. Having invited people to my wedding my parents have decided that they no longer want anything to do with me and are not going to speak to me again. FYI they are in their 50's and should get a grip and act their age not their shoe size. I say this with a certain amount of hypocracy as I have only made one attempt to speak to them since this happened over 6 weeks ago. Nevertheless, I only plan on marrying once and don't see why I should only be allowed to have two guests at my wedding and why Tom and I shouldn't be allowed to have our friends and family around us. Being stubborn as I am I sent out a huge pile of invitations; my friends see me and make more of an effort with me than my parents do. I was admittedly naive in my belief that they would overcome their childishness and come to the wedding anyway seeing as I am their only daughter, their first child to marry and I nearly died a few months ago. I was sorely mistaken.
I wonder where I get my stubborn streak from!?!
Went to Reed Recruitment Monday morning and registered with them. Need to drop my passport round at some point but hopefully they will find me something to apply for soon. After that I was on the train to Brentwood in the rain and cold. Spent the afternoon catching up with colleagues then met up with Jo, Alan and Mike for a lift into Romford. It was good to catch up with Jo while I was down, we don't see much of eachother now I have moved which is sad really as we like a lot of the same things and are able to argue without it affecting our friendship.
The evening was great, I walked to Tom's parents house and was greeted by an enthusiastic Lauren (if we were a puppy she would be a cocker spaniel, wagging her tail, barking and jumping in spasms of excitment but I digress), we read a book together and watched some TV, Robert was over tired and getting grouchy but who can blame him right. After they went to bed we sat and talked for a while and I realised I have more to say to them than I do my own parents. Sorry to my folks who I am sure love me in their own way but as they fail to even try and participate in the world conversation can be quite limited.
Cisco Course was interesting, day one was spent lulling me into a false sense of security. I sat there thinking, "I know all of this wow I am so going to pass this test". Oh, but I hadn't seen day Two's agenda at that point. Things are never as they seem. The second day of the course was dull and detailed, to be honest I foudn it hard to concentrate preferring to stare and make the odd bored expression at Andy sitting opposite me or swapping notes with Patricia. I have a copy of the slides though so at least I can revise before the exam.
The second night with the kids was great. Sat with Robert while he did his maths homework. He is so bright, I doubt I was doing squares, cubes factors and roots when I was his age. He hardly needed any help and I was really impressed with his work ethic-he did two days worth of homework when he didn't need to. Lauren read me a book (the same one as the day before so now I know a lot about scarves), she went for a bath then ran around like a mad thing before settling on the sofa with me for a cuddle and then bed. Really made me broody. They may well argue and scream and all of that but they are such lovely children, their folks are very lucky.
Thursday was a day of catching up on my work and friday was Oneview training so I haven't actually had much time to myself this week. That sounds like a complaint but it isn't, I have mostly enjoyed being out and having things to do.
Haven't done any reading this week.
Listened to: Tales Don't Tell Themselves (Funeral For A Friend) and both All American Rejects Albums.
Watched: Scrubs (missed a few days worth darn it), Ugly Betty (love it) and Heroes (begining to wonder exactly where they are heading with this show).
Tom is off tomorrow, we will need to visit his Nan to check she is ok but other than that no plans.
As usual, Tom had Friday off and decided he wanted to do some more gardening, we now have yet another fruit tree, this time a dwarf nectarine plant. He also picked up some strawberry plants and decorative bedding plants. We need a bigger garden.
Tom decided in the bath last night that he would ideally like twins when we adopt, one boy and one girl, with no contact agreements with their previous families. Apparently it's so he doesn't have to decide whether he wants a boy or girl!? I thought my mind worked in convoluted ways!
That makes no sense so I am sorry. Having truly realised just how fragile life is I have started trying to make the most of it. Little things really but now I can honestly say that I tell people what I want or am thinking. There isn't enough time in life to just hope people will guess how you feel about them or anything else. The only thing is that I can't seem to overcome my stubbornness. Anyone that has known me for some time will know that I am from the typical dysfunctional family. That, sadly seems the norm in today's society. Having invited people to my wedding my parents have decided that they no longer want anything to do with me and are not going to speak to me again. FYI they are in their 50's and should get a grip and act their age not their shoe size. I say this with a certain amount of hypocracy as I have only made one attempt to speak to them since this happened over 6 weeks ago. Nevertheless, I only plan on marrying once and don't see why I should only be allowed to have two guests at my wedding and why Tom and I shouldn't be allowed to have our friends and family around us. Being stubborn as I am I sent out a huge pile of invitations; my friends see me and make more of an effort with me than my parents do. I was admittedly naive in my belief that they would overcome their childishness and come to the wedding anyway seeing as I am their only daughter, their first child to marry and I nearly died a few months ago. I was sorely mistaken.
I wonder where I get my stubborn streak from!?!
Went to Reed Recruitment Monday morning and registered with them. Need to drop my passport round at some point but hopefully they will find me something to apply for soon. After that I was on the train to Brentwood in the rain and cold. Spent the afternoon catching up with colleagues then met up with Jo, Alan and Mike for a lift into Romford. It was good to catch up with Jo while I was down, we don't see much of eachother now I have moved which is sad really as we like a lot of the same things and are able to argue without it affecting our friendship.
The evening was great, I walked to Tom's parents house and was greeted by an enthusiastic Lauren (if we were a puppy she would be a cocker spaniel, wagging her tail, barking and jumping in spasms of excitment but I digress), we read a book together and watched some TV, Robert was over tired and getting grouchy but who can blame him right. After they went to bed we sat and talked for a while and I realised I have more to say to them than I do my own parents. Sorry to my folks who I am sure love me in their own way but as they fail to even try and participate in the world conversation can be quite limited.
Cisco Course was interesting, day one was spent lulling me into a false sense of security. I sat there thinking, "I know all of this wow I am so going to pass this test". Oh, but I hadn't seen day Two's agenda at that point. Things are never as they seem. The second day of the course was dull and detailed, to be honest I foudn it hard to concentrate preferring to stare and make the odd bored expression at Andy sitting opposite me or swapping notes with Patricia. I have a copy of the slides though so at least I can revise before the exam.
The second night with the kids was great. Sat with Robert while he did his maths homework. He is so bright, I doubt I was doing squares, cubes factors and roots when I was his age. He hardly needed any help and I was really impressed with his work ethic-he did two days worth of homework when he didn't need to. Lauren read me a book (the same one as the day before so now I know a lot about scarves), she went for a bath then ran around like a mad thing before settling on the sofa with me for a cuddle and then bed. Really made me broody. They may well argue and scream and all of that but they are such lovely children, their folks are very lucky.
Thursday was a day of catching up on my work and friday was Oneview training so I haven't actually had much time to myself this week. That sounds like a complaint but it isn't, I have mostly enjoyed being out and having things to do.
Haven't done any reading this week.
Listened to: Tales Don't Tell Themselves (Funeral For A Friend) and both All American Rejects Albums.
Watched: Scrubs (missed a few days worth darn it), Ugly Betty (love it) and Heroes (begining to wonder exactly where they are heading with this show).
Tom is off tomorrow, we will need to visit his Nan to check she is ok but other than that no plans.
As usual, Tom had Friday off and decided he wanted to do some more gardening, we now have yet another fruit tree, this time a dwarf nectarine plant. He also picked up some strawberry plants and decorative bedding plants. We need a bigger garden.
Tom decided in the bath last night that he would ideally like twins when we adopt, one boy and one girl, with no contact agreements with their previous families. Apparently it's so he doesn't have to decide whether he wants a boy or girl!? I thought my mind worked in convoluted ways!
posted by stunted at 4:42 AM
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