Inverted
So we sent out the wedding invites and people have slowly started to respond. When asked what we were doing in regards to a wedding list we said we will just suggest a few charities and people can doante whatever they can afford. You might laugh but it came as somewhat of a surprise when people actually refused to donate to charity and said thwy would rather just give us cash!?
Maybe I am more naive than I give myself credit for but out of the first 5 people we spoke to about it 3 refused to donate to chairty. In the news they are talking about voter apathy with the nearing elections, and then there is the new Live Earth concert event. On the face of it everyone wants to do something to help others, we all have nobel ideas about the sort of people we are yet when given the option to do something that would genuinely make a difference to someones life people I know chose not to.
I am disappointed to be honest. I thought they were better than that; maybe that has come out wrong but I guess what i am trying to say is, "why buy me yet another toaster when you could give a child and education or medication and make someone's life better?" Honestly, I can only assume we like to give to our own, whether it be a friend or family member people don't get a thankyou from some child in Darfur, or the continuation of oragutans in the wild.
My apologies to the people who will give to charity in honor of my wedding. I appreciate the gesture as it is meant with the best of intentions.
Speaking of intentions, we went to the registry office yesterday to give our notice of intention to marry. Quite an odd and archiac process. Why is my fathers occupation required? He wont even be coming to the wedding seeing as my mother at the prepubescent age of 50 is sulking whilst giving me the silent treatment.
The room we actually get married in is smaller than we had imagined. We have yet to decide on readings and music for the wedding itself so any ideas will be greatfully received.
It appears that getting married is actually pretty unromantic, whilst we aren't getting married for the romance of it all I can't see why anyone who has done it once and then failed would want to go through it all again with spouse number two!
Tom had a few days off last weekend so I booked friday off to have some quality time. We managed to arrange the wedding decorations and flowers which is yet another thing off of my to do list. The weather was beautiful throught the weekend; cotton clouds on an azure sky and unseasonably warm, we took a walk on the broads amongst the swans (they are about waist high on me and I'm not that short) and then took a trip to a garden centre.
Not sure how we end up doing it but everytime we are off together we buy more plants for the garden even though there is no more room left for them. This weekend we bought 4 new fruit trees. They stand 2m or slightly more tall each, blossoms in candyfloss pink and white. We also picked up some new smaller shrubs and a few strawberry plants. I don't like strawberries but I love the smell so hopefully they will prosper in the garden.
Got my blood test results in the post Tuesday. The letter said that my hormones are within normal limits for premenopause and to call them to confirm I wasn't on the HRT within 8 weeks of the test. Idiots. I swear they waste time and resource. I stopped taking the HRT as soon as they confirmed I could around the 23rd feb, so it hadn't been 8 weeks when they had arranged for the test to be taken even. Anyway the receptionist said she would call me back. The consultant called me herself which was a surprise. The conversation was strained and I was somewhat terse but tried to be polite.
She said that my results indicated that there "MIGHT BE some functioning ovarian tissue somewhere". to which i replied that the results were pretty much as expected seeing as I had a radiology report showing a functioning ovary. She didn't ask for a copy of the report; her only response was that she was surprised as she hadn't been able to find the ovary during surgery. Ok. So I probably wasn't helping myself when I sharply explained where the ovary could be located in medical terms. To this she reponded by telling me that it must be small then. Now at this point I know I was annoyed and should have bitten my tongue but like a bull to a matador I couldn't hold back. I told her in no uncertain terms that the MRI scan showed a 4cm diameter ovary on the left which "to my understanding" is the average size for an ovary and that it had also showed a 3cm diameter dominant follicle which proved it was working.
Dr P laughed lightly and said oh well. (Lucky this wasn't a face to face appointment or she would be requiring reconstructive surgery by now). When asked how I was getting on and feeling now off the HRT I explained how much better I was feeling and the different symptoms I had experienced on the treatment which had abruptly stopped within days of cessation. I explained that at the time I had accepted the symptoms as signs of the menopause (which she had told me had been surgically induced) but that I now understood that they were actually symptoms of oestrogen dominance.
Credit where credit is due, Dr P hardly skipped a beat in responding, the silence was only momentary. She tells me that she wasn't giving me that much oestrogen to cause a response but did admit that they were indeed symptoms of oestrogen dominance (overdose). The call ended pretty quickly after that. I was told to go for another blood test in 6 months to check everything was still fine.
If I hadn't of been so angry I would have asked her why no progesterone was prescribed as unopposed oestrogen is rarely recommended for HRT these days and that seeing as you only need 150mg of osetrogen a day an extra 50mg is actually quite a big rise. This and the fact that you need four times as much progesterone as you do oestrogen to maintain a healthy balance.
But I digress. Ironically this week I had no counselling session but it was a week when i could really have done with it. I feel so angry sometimes but have no way of dealing with it. Others, all I want is to cry. I feel let down and abandonned by a system that failed in it's duty of care on numerous occaisions.
Blood test request for 6 months time arrived yesterday. So that was another day spent with a wandering mind. I am driven to distraction by thoughts that can lead nowhere good and all by the mere mention of two specific hospitals.
It's beautiful outside again today although the breeze is somewhat fresh. Sat outside earlier and watched a small bird go into our new bird box. Tom will be so pleased, he has been watching that box since we got it and is getting frustrated that no one seems to be using it!
When we were out shopping for a new suit for him last weekend we walked past a lot of different people and he randomly asked if we could, "have that one. That one is happy and polite." he was talking about a child. No mention of children from me so he must be thinking about it himself alot these days. I wish things were simpler. That I could start a family with him just in the normal natural way other people do. Mind you I have never gone the easy way about doing anything so why would this be any different?
Thought- What song do you chose for your first dance when you don't have a "special" song as a couple?
Maybe I am more naive than I give myself credit for but out of the first 5 people we spoke to about it 3 refused to donate to chairty. In the news they are talking about voter apathy with the nearing elections, and then there is the new Live Earth concert event. On the face of it everyone wants to do something to help others, we all have nobel ideas about the sort of people we are yet when given the option to do something that would genuinely make a difference to someones life people I know chose not to.
I am disappointed to be honest. I thought they were better than that; maybe that has come out wrong but I guess what i am trying to say is, "why buy me yet another toaster when you could give a child and education or medication and make someone's life better?" Honestly, I can only assume we like to give to our own, whether it be a friend or family member people don't get a thankyou from some child in Darfur, or the continuation of oragutans in the wild.
My apologies to the people who will give to charity in honor of my wedding. I appreciate the gesture as it is meant with the best of intentions.
Speaking of intentions, we went to the registry office yesterday to give our notice of intention to marry. Quite an odd and archiac process. Why is my fathers occupation required? He wont even be coming to the wedding seeing as my mother at the prepubescent age of 50 is sulking whilst giving me the silent treatment.
The room we actually get married in is smaller than we had imagined. We have yet to decide on readings and music for the wedding itself so any ideas will be greatfully received.
It appears that getting married is actually pretty unromantic, whilst we aren't getting married for the romance of it all I can't see why anyone who has done it once and then failed would want to go through it all again with spouse number two!
Tom had a few days off last weekend so I booked friday off to have some quality time. We managed to arrange the wedding decorations and flowers which is yet another thing off of my to do list. The weather was beautiful throught the weekend; cotton clouds on an azure sky and unseasonably warm, we took a walk on the broads amongst the swans (they are about waist high on me and I'm not that short) and then took a trip to a garden centre.
Not sure how we end up doing it but everytime we are off together we buy more plants for the garden even though there is no more room left for them. This weekend we bought 4 new fruit trees. They stand 2m or slightly more tall each, blossoms in candyfloss pink and white. We also picked up some new smaller shrubs and a few strawberry plants. I don't like strawberries but I love the smell so hopefully they will prosper in the garden.
Got my blood test results in the post Tuesday. The letter said that my hormones are within normal limits for premenopause and to call them to confirm I wasn't on the HRT within 8 weeks of the test. Idiots. I swear they waste time and resource. I stopped taking the HRT as soon as they confirmed I could around the 23rd feb, so it hadn't been 8 weeks when they had arranged for the test to be taken even. Anyway the receptionist said she would call me back. The consultant called me herself which was a surprise. The conversation was strained and I was somewhat terse but tried to be polite.
She said that my results indicated that there "MIGHT BE some functioning ovarian tissue somewhere". to which i replied that the results were pretty much as expected seeing as I had a radiology report showing a functioning ovary. She didn't ask for a copy of the report; her only response was that she was surprised as she hadn't been able to find the ovary during surgery. Ok. So I probably wasn't helping myself when I sharply explained where the ovary could be located in medical terms. To this she reponded by telling me that it must be small then. Now at this point I know I was annoyed and should have bitten my tongue but like a bull to a matador I couldn't hold back. I told her in no uncertain terms that the MRI scan showed a 4cm diameter ovary on the left which "to my understanding" is the average size for an ovary and that it had also showed a 3cm diameter dominant follicle which proved it was working.
Dr P laughed lightly and said oh well. (Lucky this wasn't a face to face appointment or she would be requiring reconstructive surgery by now). When asked how I was getting on and feeling now off the HRT I explained how much better I was feeling and the different symptoms I had experienced on the treatment which had abruptly stopped within days of cessation. I explained that at the time I had accepted the symptoms as signs of the menopause (which she had told me had been surgically induced) but that I now understood that they were actually symptoms of oestrogen dominance.
Credit where credit is due, Dr P hardly skipped a beat in responding, the silence was only momentary. She tells me that she wasn't giving me that much oestrogen to cause a response but did admit that they were indeed symptoms of oestrogen dominance (overdose). The call ended pretty quickly after that. I was told to go for another blood test in 6 months to check everything was still fine.
If I hadn't of been so angry I would have asked her why no progesterone was prescribed as unopposed oestrogen is rarely recommended for HRT these days and that seeing as you only need 150mg of osetrogen a day an extra 50mg is actually quite a big rise. This and the fact that you need four times as much progesterone as you do oestrogen to maintain a healthy balance.
But I digress. Ironically this week I had no counselling session but it was a week when i could really have done with it. I feel so angry sometimes but have no way of dealing with it. Others, all I want is to cry. I feel let down and abandonned by a system that failed in it's duty of care on numerous occaisions.
Blood test request for 6 months time arrived yesterday. So that was another day spent with a wandering mind. I am driven to distraction by thoughts that can lead nowhere good and all by the mere mention of two specific hospitals.
It's beautiful outside again today although the breeze is somewhat fresh. Sat outside earlier and watched a small bird go into our new bird box. Tom will be so pleased, he has been watching that box since we got it and is getting frustrated that no one seems to be using it!
When we were out shopping for a new suit for him last weekend we walked past a lot of different people and he randomly asked if we could, "have that one. That one is happy and polite." he was talking about a child. No mention of children from me so he must be thinking about it himself alot these days. I wish things were simpler. That I could start a family with him just in the normal natural way other people do. Mind you I have never gone the easy way about doing anything so why would this be any different?
Thought- What song do you chose for your first dance when you don't have a "special" song as a couple?
posted by stunted at 7:12 AM
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