I feel guilty and it's a pity
cos your busy fighting demons
and you can't win with the baggage that you hold.
We're just like Romeo & Juliet, but that's a joke you'll never get
when it's this easy to forget, or so i'm told.

Forget the star-crossed lovers
I prefer starless skies
To dream of countless others
as in dreams love never dies

why can't I find words that say what I want them to? "I'm an addict from dramatics I confuse the two for love.." Taking back Sunday- Liar. Odd since people totally unconnected with completely different lives can articulate my bigger flaws effortlessly.

how about.... "All I want for christmas is a bigger vocabulary and better understanding of syntax" doesn't have much of a ring to it does it? Haha well yesterday my colleagues and I wrote an email to my boss's boss's boss (that make sense?) actually asking for a target!? What's wrong with us? We have been working for the last five months towards a target we haven't been set (even though they paid us as only being 50% of that fictional target) selling services that may or may not be included in our portfolio. Hey I might start selling cars next week and see if they will pay me for it. Thought that a nice touch on the email would to be to have copied santa claus in as maybe they would see that we are at the end of our tether now. Oddly enough the boys didn't have santa's current email address.

Yeah this attempting to work is going well. I'm having a debate with a colleague about scrabble but it's not really about scrabble which has led me to think mostly about subtext and reading between the lines. It's funny really, most of our communication in life is non verbal but so often we miss the signs or see what we want to. just cos someone says its nice to see you again it doesn't mean it is. it could be something they have been avoiding (honestly i don't know much about that har har) or it could be that they have missed you but are unsure and don't want you to recoil (that one i realllllly don't know much about).

You see it in the movies all the time. Boy meets girl they both like eachother intensley but no one is willing to make a move as they havent the guts to trust their instinct and read between the lines. Ironically as much as we would probably all like to have that one moment; when the on-off couple take the plunge, where the tension could be cut with a knife and your screaming at the screen to just kiss; most of us would let that moment pass us by. Living is the hardest part of life. taking a chance and risking being wrong; mostly we don't like the stakes and let the opportunity slip through our fingers like grains of sand as time evades us in the same manner.

This scrabble conversation has become rather more than odd. I don't mind innuendo and my family always moan about my poor language (which could be compared to that of a sailor and in the process offend the sailor) but this is just weird. I wont go into details and besmirch my clearly flawless reputation further but even I am confused by this one. In fact I simply don't know how to respond anymore.

today I am a 19 year old stuck in a 23 year olds body, a new experience as normally im like a 30 something stuck in a 23 year olds body. Which is worse? I want so little and I have so much, yet what I want is so much rarer and greater than all I have; has anyone seen the exit sign lately?